I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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