I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
