Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'd cum for enchiladas.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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