i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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