So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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