So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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