Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
