he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Damn victory sex feels great
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
