i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
