i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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