Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
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You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
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He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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