hell yes lets make some ravioli
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
