You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
