Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
