I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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