Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
