Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
