omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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