He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
