There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
