11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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