I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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