Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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