remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You ruined the universe
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
