No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
