you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just invented taco cereal.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
