I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
