Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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