Is it because I queefed?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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