dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
