oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
