They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
