i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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