At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
