She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
