I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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