He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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