My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
