Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
