i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
