i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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