you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
