Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
