ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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