It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
