Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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