If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
