i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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