I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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