just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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