I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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