Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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