Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i believe in u and ur pee
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
