I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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