i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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