I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
