4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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