Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
