C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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